Review: Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator

Before we get into this, I think you should know that rabbit vibrators frustrate me very easily. Almost never do I find a toy where the ‘ears’ hit my clit in a pleasurable way. For me, using a rabbit is usually having to make a decision on whether I want to sacrifice using the full length of the insertable part in order to get the rabbit ears to line up right, or would I rather feel the fullness I like while letting the ears slap around uselessly. So why even agree to this review then? Well, even though I am disappointed more often than not, I am on a mission to find a rabbit vibe that works for me. The idea of a rabbit vibrator is very appealing to me, a dildo and an external vibe all in one package? Yes please!

So, when I agreed to review the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator, I did so with a bit of trepidation. I figured I was for sure setting myself up for disappointment and was dreading having to write a less than stellar review. I’m such a people pleaser that it makes me sad when I have to say something negative about anything.

A truly ear-resistible vibe.

Aesthetically, I loved the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator straight out of the box. It looks solidly built, kind of chunky with a hefty base that lets the Greedy Girl stand up beautifully on its own, which you may not care about, but I love being able to stand toys up on my desk and admire them while I write. The body of the toy is covered in a velvety soft, pure black silicone which makes this vibrator look classy as fuck. The shaft of the toy has a dramatic curve that is perfectly suited for hitting the G-Spot. The shiny silver band and buttons are also a pretty nice touch. Overall, a beautifully crafted vibrator.

The rabbit vibrator arrived with no charge (I guess not really unexpected, but sometimes toys come with a partial charge in them and I can use them right outta the box), so I had some waiting to do before I was able to test it out. Luckily, it is rechargeable, using the included USB cable. A wall plug is not included, but if you’ve got a computer handy, you have a sex toy charging station! The cable plugs into a port on the back, which is covered by a silicone flap. Once the light turns from red to green, your vibrator is fully charged up and ready to go. I’m guessing I got about 90 minutes (give or take) of play time in before needing to plug my toy back in for another recharge, so not bad!

The Greedy Girl looks big, measuring in at a whopping 9.5 inches, but don’t panic, only about 5ish inches of it are actually insertable, so I find it to be a completely manageable toy size-wise. The shaft of the toy is pretty flexible – it actually feels like it may be hollow in places – but the head of the vibrator is pretty hard so there is not a lot of give to it.

Once the vibrator was charged up and ready to go I turned it on and flipped through the settings. I was struck by just how many settings there actually were: I counted 12 patterns in total, which at first I thought was overkill, because I never use patterns. I usually set my vibrator to the highest, steady speed possible and leave it at that. But once the toy was inserted I quickly changed my mind… things got even more exciting when I looked down and said “hey, what does this second button do?” HOLY FUCK WHAT?!? This toy has not one but TWO FREAKIN’ MOTORS! I am able to control the rabbit ears independently of the main insertable vibrator bit! Both of these motors are powerful, and I’m telling you, I was not expecting this. I laid in bed moaning as I tried out each setting. I think this is one of the very few vibrators where I actually prefer the vibrational patterns to the straight-up constant speed. The pulsating patterns are so thuddy and rumbly that I honestly feel a little bit sore after using the Greedy Girl as much as I have in the last couple of days.

Follow me down the rabbit hole.

The thick rabbit ears manage to hit my clit just right without a whole lot of fiddling about looking for the right position. The rabbit itself has three speed settings, and I find myself using the medium speed for the most part. The top end speed gets a little too buzzy for my tastes, but I really don’t find myself wishing for much more power when I have both the motors going.

Operating the Greedy Girl is pretty simple, although the button placement is a tad on the awkward side when the toy is in use (I had to fumble a bit to change my settings mid-use). There is a small circular button that operates the rabbit ears and like I mentioned there are three speed settings. The larger button controls the main body, there are three steady vibration speeds and nine vibration patterns (giving me waaaaaay too many things to choose from!). To turn off or on, just hold down the buttons.

There is one thing I hate about this vibe though. The name. I super hate almost everything about it… the only part of the name worth keeping is “Rabbit Vibrator.” I super hate Fifty Shades of Grey. I also super hate the use of the phrase “Greedy Girl” here. The whole thing makes me feel icky inside. I hate that it’s such a good vibrator with such a shitty name.

TLDR; Get yourself one and live hoppily ever after.

Sometimes a toy comes out of nowhere and exceeds your expectations. The Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator caught me completely off-guard; I really did not expect it to be as powerful as it is. So my recommendation is a resounding YES, BUY IT! If you are looking for a rabbit, give this one a try. I am super picky and hate most rabbits, but I really love this one, so maybe you will too! If you are not a power person, you should be warned that the vibration patterns all pulse at the highest intensity, so if you prefer something more gentle, you won’t find it with any of the patterns. The head is also pretty hard, and I think it may have caused me a little bruising (but I probably played pretty rough with the Greedy Girl in the name of research), so that is something to be aware of. But overall, this is a solid rabbit vibrator and has earned itself a regular spot in my sex toy rotation.

Quick note: When I received this toy for review it arrived with a storage case, lock, and some kind of tingly balm (as pictured in the cover image of this review) this was all part of the Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator Luxury Bundle, which at the time of this posting seems to be discontinued.